Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
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