i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
