I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
