apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
