between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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