I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize