Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
