Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
