the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I believe in your delicious
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
