i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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