i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
