i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
