oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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