i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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