I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
