Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Fuck appropriateness.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
