She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
