i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
