well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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