dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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