I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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