I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize