i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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