I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
