AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
