I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
