"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
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