New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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