Its about making memories worth repressing
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
