I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
