Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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