obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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