Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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