I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
