He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize