I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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