I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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