I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize