I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
