So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
