how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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