Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
