This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
