Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
