I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
BRING THE BAGELS
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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