areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
im having a threesome with these popsicles
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
