let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You are a genius and a whore.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
