last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
