shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
