yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
