Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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