My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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