two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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