yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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