my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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