you have to choose: penises or morals?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
