Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
