I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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