this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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