did you get engaged???
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
