If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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