I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
