ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
