when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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