I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
