the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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